Logically, to me, if the problem of my self-hate was a self-protective motivation thing that "I", my infant/toddler self, "did" to myself or what was my love/hate response system, and if it got stuck in the self-hate mode, then it needs to be turned around. But, trying to do that is very hard, plus it has led me to hating my therapist and now hating the world. Will I ever be done with it and can let it go? Hatred just sucks, whichever direction it goes. Feels gross, unbearable. But it's there, a part of my world, too. I can't easily escape except through dissociation, which produces other problems. (And even then I think it's fair to say it still exists.)

Which leads me to wonder a little about what is going on inside the person who wrote the post and others whose advice is so painful. To me at this point in my life, the problem isn't so much me (although there is plenty that's problematic there), I think the problem is the hate and it's unidirectionality.