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Old Mar 28, 2016, 08:06 PM
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BayBrony BayBrony is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2013
Location: usa
Posts: 1,847
I can't say that what I have dealt with In regards to my T is exactly maternal transference. I've never really wanted her to be my mom. My relationship with my mom was so abusive and painful that I think I released the idea of a mother as something I'd ever want.
I DID however, deeply desire her love. Her touch , her praise, her attention etc etc etc.
For my T the solution was meeting those needs as she was able . I know the majority of Ts are not as free with touch or their time or hearts as mine is. And of course, we talk endlessly about it all. We talk about why my need is so intense. We talk about how much I miss her sometimes. We talk about what I feel like I am missing when the relationship as it is isn't "enough". We talk about how I support the younger aspects of myself. We talk about how I can learn what caring for myself looks like my mirroring how she cares for me. We talk about how her voice is slowly replacing the internalized voice of my mother. We talk about how much she loves me, how much I love her, we talk about it all.
Of course an approach like this only works if the T is willing to share themselves in this way. So I don't know that I can necessarily advise anyone else. I was fortunate enough to find a T open to relating in the way I needed her to relate to me.
Four years in, the relationship is increasingly a source of peace and security instead of a source of pain....and yet I feel stronger inside myself .
I think.it is very worth talking about the attachment.
Thanks for this!
rainbow8, Waterbear