Is it okay to feel resentful that my mother didn't protect me? I know she was a victim too, so why do I feel all these negative things about my mother?

I don't blame her for what others did ... well, I'm wondering, maybe there's a part of me that does idk. I don't see two of the perpertrators in my family but I still see my father. It's like I expect less from him and therefore cut him more slack. I figured out my father's awful behaviour when I was little and he is a changed man now - no longer violent - so anything he does is better than it was.

With my mother it's different. She was neglectful but I didn't see it until recently. Also, I thought thibgs would change when she left my father, but they haven't. So now I'm stuck on all her failings as a parent and I feel overwhelmed by resentment for her. Her current behaviours remain difficult to deal with and I feel like I do not trust her, not the slightest bit.

Is it okay to feel this way? I don't want to blame her for others abusive behaviour, but I feel hurt about her neglect, emotional distance and complicity in providing a dysfunctional and chaotic environment.

Can anyone relate?