Quote:
Originally Posted by MrMoose
Communication is important, yes? I have been suggesting family therapy, or couples therapy, or any kind of therapy for us parents, the kids, all of us, etc. for months. My wife's replies are all along the lines of: "Therapy is bull****", "therapy doesnt work", "I will not have my parenting questioned". At least I managed to convince her that one child would benefit. She says after 12 sessions over 5 months, "it,s not working!!!" "it won't work" etc. She believes the sheer force of will can fix everything, and what cant be fixed can be ignored.
Now she has gone totally silent: no talking, no texting, no communication of any kind. It 's very strange because we live in the same apartment with our kids.
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I had a similar situation. You didn't say how long you have been married but I went thru what your going thru now for almost 40 yrs.!!! COMMUNICATION is the key . Verbally and non-verbally. There has to be a dialogue with truthfulness and trust. My wife also refused marriage counseling and came from a family that never aired out their issues. Everything was always swept under the rug. Talk about dysfunction.
What took me a very long time to realize was that she just didn't know how to communicate on an adult level.
Many times she would just turn her back to me , or walk out of the room. Do anything to avoid openness.
Look , all I know is that if she doesn't want to help better your marriage thru therapy , maybe something else will work. But in my experience if it's at the point where you guys need counseling then you must have some issues that NEED to be talked out. Hopefully in a civil manner.
And one bit of advice , if I may , try and nip this in the bud ASAP. And start thinking about all that could happen to YOU if your marriage fails. Once the silent treatment starts things can go downhill fast.
I also had to live with that ******** for years before I could file for divorce and move out. I paid dearly because of this lack of communication. And it wasn't that I wouldn't talk about things ,SHE didn't want to because she just didn't give a crap about me anymore.
Sometimes when the other person doesn't want to talk to you they are SAYING a lot ! It keeps them from telling you all the lies and true feelings that they don't EVER want you to know.
I don't mean to sound so pessimistic , I just am sharing my personal experience with this issue and want to stress how important it really is.