I've got a couple of hugely compliant parts. They have served me well for many years. I also have the "what the heck is going on?" reaction from them-they really don't feel safe when I am not compliant. Boundaries scare them. And I have some parts that are adamant about boundaries. As they have both become aware of each other, I've had some pretty freaked out moments. And like you I try to stay looking normal.

I don't have anything helpful to add, except to say that I understand being in a bind-the feeling that I HAVE to be compliant and that I CAN'T be compliant. Ugh. It does seem to lessen as the parts are learning to be kind to one another and to try to understand each other.