Quote:
Originally Posted by basicgoodness
Marriage and children can make one feel trapped. They definitely place limits on one's freedom. Children are expensive. It sounds, however, that you truly love your kids and are devoted to them. I hope they add joy to your life. You sound like you have a lot going for you: a great job, two wonderful children, a wife, a house. I hope you can feel gratitude for what you have. And I hope you can find some relief from your depression. Young children suffer when their parents are depressed.
|
Thank you for taking the time to listen. I am grateful for what I have. I do tell myself and know that I have so much and other people have it much worse. However this doesn't really alleviate my feelings. My children are everything to me. I have the 2 greatest kids. But like you said I am worried my depression will be harmful to them. I'm confused if they would be better off if my wife and I weren't married. I want what's best for my kids. That is my priorty. However I want to live my life how I want, peacefully. I want to be happy too. Over the past 10 years I have grown farther and farther apart from my friends, to the point I literally have no friends anymore. I just wish my wife didn't "police" me. I feel we have grown farther apart. I don't come to her with anything because I feel she passes judgment. It is not a partner and partner relationship. It's always a matter of what I am doing wrong I am costantly being told what I need to improve. Meanwhile I don't tell my wife what to do, other then to pick up a hobby and take more time to herself. I am not trying to change her. I feel she can't accept me for what I am. I have to change and I don't want.