Hi, Confusedandused, and welcome to Psych Central! I'd feel the same way in your situation. I assume you have told him how you feel. What does he say?

It's possible that he's dealing with some depression, plus his jobless state is affecting his sense of masculinity, hence the flirting. Have you always done more around the house than he has? (Alas, I think most women do.)

Have you considered bringing takeout home? Fixing more simple meals? Eating off paper plates? No woman can do everything around a home. You have to look after yourself and think about what things matter the most and take some shortcuts such as these ones. If your husband complains, then explain to him that you just can't do it all and would love it if he could at least sometime be the chef, etc. And praise him and thank him if he steps up.

Just some thoughts--probably more than you wanted!

In conclusion, you are not being selfish.

Again, welcome!

P.S. Even young children can help out some, such as doing some cleaning.