Quote:
Originally Posted by Talthybius
I mentioned those addictions only as an analogy to being in love.
Depression is not like an addiction. You are right, depression sips so much energy and focus and makes simple things difficult.
Sometimes there is a reason, a cause, for being depressed. If this is so, it is easy to solve.
Sadly, sometimes there is no (apparent) reason. In that case I think you really need professional help to get through it. Two years is pretty long. I have been really depressed in the past for 2 months. That is intense and it gave me physical symptoms.
While my grades have been suffering from my crush, my physical fitness for sure and my social interactions probably also, have improved. I try to give a positive twist to it.
Ideally, you should use these mental crises as catalysts of change. But, often it is not obvious how.
You don't give us much information about why you are depressed, what you enjoy in life, and what you have problems with. To me at least, it soothing to write it all down. It barely makes a stratch, but it is something.
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Well. Thank you for the reply.
Now, to the task at hand... Change.. It really has a ring to it. Perhaps I really need to change. Still not sure in what manner.
Actually, I have been pursuing online therapy(through Skype) for the last 2 weeks. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Sure I would like some normal therapy, but for the time being, it is not possible. I shall have to wait another full year for it.
Regarding the cause, well, not exactly sure what. There are many aspects that disturb me, if i really think about it. I had other crushes in the past faced rejection once and gotten over it. Nobody ever said I was ugly or unattractive, but many said that I am actually cute or quite handsome. Yet I am never happy with my physical appearence. I am quite skinny(don't lack muscles, though, i am quite a sports guy)and i just can't seem to better myself from this aspect.
I am not very popular. Don't lack friends, have many acquaintances, but I feel like a failure in a social plan.
I always stress for little things, i am easily hurt, and I feel like i am not an important part in anyone's life(except my parents) I feel alone, and sometimes I am under the impressions than nobody cares about me.
Sure, i omitted some aspects for privacy reasons, but if you read all those things, you might think I have no right to be depressed. But I am. And it's not my choice.
Sometimes, when I feel very, very bad, I find comfort in suicide thoughts, or having imaginary conversations with some friends about how and what I feel. Even go as far as planning a confession to those that are unfamiliar with my struggles. (Only one friend has a slight idea of my issues). Naturally, as I open my eyes with disappointment in the next morning, i feel relieved that i kept my mouth shut for another day. Shame or fear prevents me from confessing.