Thanks for the welcome.

Although I think it's everyone's right to decide if they get the diagnosis or not, I don't care much for the diagnosis on paper, but I am seeking answers and explanations. Like I said in the comments: my whole life I've been in denial because that's how my mother sees it. I even have a report card where a teacher wrote to my mom that I needed professional attention. But she ignored this like she always does. And it's affected my life. I am very impulsive, have bad rage management and very obsessive.

It may be a tough answer, but I'll accept whatever the answer is even if I have to keep things a secret to avoid conflicts. Or maybe be open about it and ignore judgement from others. Right know I just want to understand where to start. Should I go with a specialist on Autism or with a normal Psychologist and see where things go from there?