Hello...this is my first post here. I've really been struggling with this over the past few months and I feel like I don't have anybody to talk to about it.

I have been feeling extremely lonely recently. The last time I was in a real relationship was over 4 years ago, it was an abusive relationship that I was lucky to get out of. Afterwards, I had a 3 year long affair with a married person. I'm not proud of that, and it caused me much emotional distress. I spent many nights crying at home alone, feeling like I wasn't good enough to actually be with, feeling sad that somebody who supposedly loved me wouldn't be seen with me, so on and so forth. This went on for three years before I walked away.
Last summer I met somebody amazing, who I got on with well, we had a lot in common, he didn't have any substance abuse problems and was actually single, would bring me around his friends etc. Of course, this person lives very far away from me and though our paths crossed several times last summer, we haven't seen each other since and haven't even really spoken. I shouldn't be letting this bother me, but I've been thinking about him every single day since then and it's killing me.

I just don't understand why I have so much trouble finding a person with whom I can have a somewhat decent relationship. I'm in my 20's, have a good career, am reasonably attractive. I don't have trouble making friends and have an extremely active social life, but I've been desperately craving intimacy and affection. I'm sick of going to bed alone every night. I just don't understand what's wrong with me, am I really that bad?