So here I am sitting at the amtrak station with all of my gear that should have been with me as I hiked the Colorado trail. I know that I can't realistically do this. ( just today I almost fell down in downtown Denver from being light headed). I've come to terms that I bit off way more then I could chew. Yet talking to my parents who I still live with made everything worse. My mother started crying saying that I'm a failure for not giving it a shot and that I've wasted all of this money (about 700) to go out here just to stop because I'm uncomfortable and haven't given the trail a realistic chance.
My friends on the other hand all say that this wasn't a waste and it was a huge step for me, but I wish my mom saw it that way. It's as if she doesn't really care about me and more about the money I've wasted getting here and back despite not going over my estimated budget for a month long trip (about 2000). All I wanted was for my parents to be okay with my choice of bailing before something bad may have happen.
I'm thankfully not going straight home, I'm instead going to a friend's house to stay in the suburbs in Chicago before he goes to a concert back in Michigan where he can drop me off back home.
I find it sad how dependent I really am with my parents always just trying to get some recognition from them when it normally ends up with me disappointing them with everything I try. Maybe I'm just destined for my mother to be disappointed while putting my sister on a pedestal of perfection. ( she really is perfect but I've at least talked to her about this and she suggested I gave the trail a try but said this was a huge step for me as well and whatever I chose she would support me)
I really wish she could be there with me when I get home. But, she is in Brazil doing a fancy business trip and won't be back for a month.

Sorry for poor grammar typing this on a phone wasn't the best. Also sorry for going a bit off topic I wanted to get everything I was thinking out now.

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