Trying to deal with my defeat.

So here I am sitting at the amtrak station with all of my gear that should have been with me as I hiked the Colorado trail. I know that I can't realistically do this. ( just today I almost fell down in downtown Denver from being light headed). I've come to terms that I bit off way more then I could chew. Yet talking to my parents who I still live with made everything worse. My mother started crying saying that I'm a failure for not giving it a shot and that I've wasted all of this money (about 700) to go out here just to stop because I'm uncomfortable and haven't given the trail a realistic chance.
My friends on the other hand all say that this wasn't a waste and it was a huge step for me, but I wish my mom saw it that way. It's as if she doesn't really care about me and more about the money I've wasted getting here and back despite not going over my estimated budget for a month long trip (about 2000). All I wanted was for my parents to be okay with my choice of bailing before something bad may have happen.
I'm thankfully not going straight home, I'm instead going to a friend's house to stay in the suburbs in Chicago before he goes to a concert back in Michigan where he can drop me off back home.
I find it sad how dependent I really am with my parents always just trying to get some recognition from them when it normally ends up with me disappointing them with everything I try. Maybe I'm just destined for my mother to be disappointed while putting my sister on a pedestal of perfection. ( she really is perfect but I've at least talked to her about this and she suggested I gave the trail a try but said this was a huge step for me as well and whatever I chose she would support me)
I really wish she could be there with me when I get home. But, she is in Brazil doing a fancy business trip and won't be back for a month.

Sorry for poor grammar typing this on a phone wasn't the best. Also sorry for going a bit off topic I wanted to get everything I was thinking out now.

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I'm sorry your mother can't see how wise you are to end the trip before you got seriously hurt or sick. She says you are a failure for not giving it a shot? But you did give it a shot and found you need more preparation!

I mean, has she ever hiked the Colorado Trail herself? What hiking successes has she achieved to make her an authority on what should be deemed a "hiking success?"

Besides, isn't hiking supposed to fun? Your mother is reminding me of one of those Little League father's who slaps his kid for striking out. But instead of slapping you she cries, which is really, really manipulative. I can't believe she would actually be that distraught over this. Sounds to me like she really loves messing with your head.

I hope you also give yourself some credit for taking care of yourself and doing the right thing despite pressure from your mother to do otherwise. That's not easy to do when you are young. Not at all.

--Ceara1010

Holy crap! That sounds like a huge trip! And all you've done is some day trips?? Not even a weekend? Come back home before you kill yourself. I don't know what's wrong with your mother!

Eta - and I'm speaking as an experienced wilderness camper and walker. You are not prepared for this. Screw carol Strange!

Thanks , I'm hoping staying with a friend of mine will let things cool down with my parents. My mother still hasn't contacted me since I told her yesterday morning and I'm feeling bad because i disappointed her and don't know what I could possibly say that would make any of this better

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