((Blast.from.the.past))), welcome to PC and the PTSD forum. What you just described is Very challenging. It's very difficult to get help with too. YES, you deserve to think about your own needs too in this challenge. It is understandable that doing that is most likely very difficult for you. With such a big challenge like that it's important to do what you "need" one day at a time. Do you have "any" help?