Today I was supposed to go to over to my friends house (we'll call her V) for the first time in months, or rather since my most recent manic episode started. I've posted about her before, I've been having some issues with our friendship. She can be a very high maintenance friend.

I was doing fine all day, I got a good nights sleep and an easy relatively stress free morning. Then I started getting nervous but decided I would go anyways, and took a benzo to curb any further anxiety. I spent a bunch of time doing my makeup and getting dressed (even though I could have gone in pajamas and unkempt hair) then about 5 minutes before we were supposed to leave (my husband was going wih me) I completely lost it. Hyperventilating, crying panic attack. I had to cancel. Another friend of mine (whom I really wanted to see) was also supposed to be there, and I still wish I could have seen her, I guess it was the thought of spending time with V and thinking about how much she stresses me out.

Did I overreact? Also, if I'm having a reaction this strong to just going over to her house to hang out should I reassess my relationship with her? I'm pretty sure it's not normal to have this kind of reaction to something so benign.