My Support Forums - View Single Post - The BPD Check-In Thread #6

Aug 16, 2016, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PinkFlamingo99

I'm struggling with the biases inherent in this diagnosis. I spent a long time this summer inpatient and left feeling awful because the pdoc who took over my inpatient care when the other one went on vacation was so rude to me, I can't stop ruminating and have developed an even worse fear of going to the ER for stitches. they say they judge on individuals and not diagnoses, but when it comes to BPD, this is a load of crap. I didn't even enter the hospital with a BPD dx (just traits) but somehow acquired one. I was so afraid of being judged in the ER that

Possible trigger:

i tried to duct tape my wounds shut and ended up with a bad infection

Didn't think it was possible to hate myself worse but

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when you are involuntarily admitted and your life falls apart because of it, and you finally gather up the strength to say for the first time ever that you are not going to be safe if you go home, and the pdoc tells you to "deal with it," and discharges you early, it's hard to feel valuable. Now I'm left with the fallout and pretty sure I am not all that safe.

Feel worth nothing. My therapist is on vacation.

Once i was in the ER with

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16 stitches in my arm, panicked that i would try again and succeed and the psychiatrist told me suicide was my decisions, that he hoped i didn't make that decision but that it was up to me. Thanks!