You are not a bad mother, Always.

I have a son, and I remember having to NOT criticize his girlfriends along the way. I held my breathe hoping he'd come to see that "she" was not right for him. Criticizing his girlfriend would only have made him more determined to see her. Thankfully, he would finally figure out a girl was not for him, on his own, and move on. He finally met someone who was a great match. They married when my son was 29. They have a nine year old girl and a 3 year old son.

I think your daughter will come to the proper conclusion about "him" as my son did, on her own. They have to think it is their idea. This is where your raising will begin to show. I can't tell you the number of times my son has shared "his idea", and I hear words I told him during his upbringing repeated back to me. I don't mention it to him. I don't care who gets credit! I just am happy to know that he really was listening all those years.

I'm way past the stage where you are today (son is 40) and I think that the mother/daughter relationship may be more complicated than the mother/son relationship, IDK. I will say this, I waited too long to "cut the apron strings" and helped my son financially. That turned into some resentment from my son in later years because I did not make him struggle when he was at the age where he should have been learning those lessons. Hindsight is 20/20, but wish I would have known that when he was 22.