Hello guiltier65: Well... I feel like celebrating your acceptance of your daughter. But, at the same time, my heart goes out to you over the loss of your son & your isolation. And, of course, not sleeping well certainly makes everything just all that much more difficult. I don't know if you are seeing a therapist. If not, this might be something to consider. As has often been said, it may be your daughter who has transitioned... but it's your transition too.

I will take issue with one thing you wrote here though. You wrote that you shouldn't have posted anything because now the tears start. As I think you know, you are carrying a lot of conflicting emotions with regard to this circumstance. You need some way to process it. Simply holding it all inside is a prescription for ongoing sadness. So, unless you can arrange for some other way to process what you are feeling, such as seeing a therapist, writing about how you are feeling, either here on PC or elsewhere, is at least providing you with some small outlet. It's a good thing...