I wish I had advice for you or could even say I know how you feel, but I don't. I don't feel dumb because of my depression. I feel dumb because I am. I constantly do stupid and idiotic crap.
If it helps to rant about it then go ahead. No one here will fault you for that. I hope someone else has some better advice than me.
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It's only paranoia until it happens.
Why I don't trust doctors
Things You Wish People Understood About Depression
I mean what I say & I say what I mean.