First of all, you have an amazing son! He obviously adores you. A five year old cleaned up, willingly and with out being told? Wonderful! But to the point, I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. You're up for some "firsts" tomorrow; your son's first day of kindergarten and your first day teaching at your new job. I would be a ball of nerves just from that. But you're on a new journey with your career and your child in school. It only makes sense to miss your husband and want him with you to experience these "firsts" with you. But instead of worrying, commit to making him proud and do your best, which I already know you will. And as awesome as your son sounds, I know he will have a great first day; and he will not only enjoy, but he will be successful in kindergarten. This new job is your second chance to be a kick *** teacher in a new school. A new beginning. Your husband is with you in spirit and will help you be amazing in this new role. Please take of yourself, you will get through it.