I've always hated myself because of my ADHD I felt like a retard. I thought I wasn't good enough for anyone because I behaved differently I was strange I had to learn communication skills the hard way. I also thought to myself what honest nice man would want a sack of **** like me who doesn't even pick up after herself. Who where ever she goes she has to have people hounding her to do things. Who stares at a wall, who is too mentally retarded to even have a job. Then I sit there wanting to kill myself because I am the cause of someone's extra job. My mother being my career. I feel anger at myself but it doesn't matter how angry I get I will always be trapped in this retardedness. Then I feel sorry for myself for having it and I am like oh poor me because I can not see any end in sight for the hell this illness is. To all the people who don't believe in this illness you have no idea and I hope you never do. Coz it is hell and honestly I feel like if I have to be reminded and yelled at 10 times because my retarded brain can't concentrate maybe I should ****ing kill myself because I am a sack of **** that's making others lives harder. Like I am suffering and everyone else that lives with me, meets me. Has to suffer with my pain too and I can't see it anymore and I wanna cry because I hate that others suffer because of me. So yeah adhd **** you and all you've taken from me because you've taken my will to live. I may not want to but I have to just to show myself that just because I am broken doesn't mean I am not worthy of being fixed. So for all who stuck with me thank you. Thank you for giving me the extra strength to get through each day.