Thanks. I think I am using all the tools I have as best as I can in this state. Today I went out for a picnic with my family in a beautiful place by a river. It was very hard getting myself out there but I am glad I did. Still I feel empty. I have tried contacting a few friends to chat but have got little response. I think people are tired of hearing me unwell. My parents are my best support. As I find it so difficult to shop or cook my Mum cooks me meals and freezes them. I basically live off them. I don't eat much.

My T is an amazing support and I can call him if things get desperate. I see him weekly. Being so depleted of energy is making exercise much more difficult but I did manage a long walk today. I wake up like the living dead. Deeply depressed, anxious, exhausted and very sore all over my body. I am sleeping well but it doesn't seem to help.

Do deep depressions pass on their own? Do I just need time? The meds I take just don't work for depression. I have even tried ECT in the past and it only partially worked. Maybe the Cymbalta is making it worse...idk. Maybe I need another AD.

Oh well, study then rest tonight. Work all day tomorrow. Hopefully I can maintain functioning at at least this level. Going on how I felt this morning, if this gets any worse I might need IP. My thoughts are getting dark.