So one of my wife's coworkers father-in-law died this past week. They ended up finding him past out in a pool of blood & rushed him to the ER. He ended up telling one of his sons that he didn't want anything done to extend his life. He was done fighting. Everyone seemed to accept this because "he has been sick for a long time". So the hospital disconnected his pacemaker & he eventually died. Yes I know that's sad.

My point/question is why is it OK for him to say he is done fighting & he is ready to die, but if I say that people freak out and say there are things I can do to improve my "quality of life". The same could be said of him. I have been sick for a long time & I just want to give up. Why is that so wrong? Is it because my pain isn't obvious? Is it because I use every ounce of energy I have to force myself out of bed everyday so I can goto work? I'm not here trying to throw a pity party for me but I can feel my mental state slowly deteriorating & it does have an obvious physical effect on me. I have bad to sever tremors in my hand and foot. I tend to drag my foot, & that has gotten to the point now where my wife has even noticed how obvious it is. So when I say I want to give up. I don't want to live anymore. Why can't they just let me die. I am broken beyond repair. There is no magic pill that will ever make me trust again. So I will always suffer and it will only continually get worse.