I am at a loss lately. I haven't been this depressed in a long time. I'm not happy with anything nor anyone. When I can sleep I can't get out of bed. When I wake up I force myself back to sleep. The other day I slept over 17 hours then was up for 4 before I went back to sleep. Then there are times where I wont sleep for a 48 hour or so window and do nothing but cry. When awake I can only think about how much better my family would be if I wasn't here anymore but when I sleep I have the worst nightmares. I can't take this much more. I will go out once a week (meaning out of my home) and wont want to wake up the next day because I'm sure I upset someone or know they were talking about me. There is so much more going on with me but these are the main things. Anyone have any suggestions? I don't want to be like this anymore. And no I don't have insurance so I can't see anyone medically. I have been diagnosed with depression and PTSD.