My sleep has been ok. With Zyprexa and Clonazepam I get about 6 hours of decent sleep. Without it I am too restless, panicked and can't shut my mind down so can't fall asleep. Last night I even managed 7 hours sleep with only Clonazepam. I hate taking Zyprexa due to weight gain, but it sure does help.

At the moment I think my symptoms are PTSD related; hyper-vigilence, panic, obsessive thoughts of revenge, paranoia and feeling very wound up and full of rage. Complex PTSD and Bipolar have many symptoms that overlap but as this episode started on Saturday with a revelation about the abuse I'm thinking PTSD.

Saying that, PTSD can trigger bipolar episodes. Yesterday I channelled my obsession into study and worked like crazy all day till 8pm when I had done all I could before I get more info on my exam tomorrow. My energy is returning (Chronic Fatigue had been really bad for last few weeks), I just went on a long walk to burn the rage off. It helped a bit but now I still feel obsessed and intense. My mood is actually pretty good today. It is odd being happy while having dark, obsessional thoughts.

I see my T in an hour and will tell all and see what he suggests. My next pdoc appt is in a week. My exam is in 8 days. I think I am coping well and will get through this.