i have this patient in my area that screams and hollers 24/7...she doesnt need anything...we offer...we do what we can...they give her the meds when needed...everyone is going beserk...literally....even the nurses are starting to go crazy....all the other patients are complaining and two other fairly confused patients have now been set off by this very aware patient...she is aggressive and verbally abusive....the alzihemiers unit does not want to take care of her ....and she is recovering so she cannot go to the long term....but i did a major boo boo....one patient ..one of the confused ones was screaming in the other room...and her roommate was about to fall...the patient who is screaming and aware kept trying to keep me in her room...but there were only two of us trying to keep 24 people people happy....along with providing needs and making sure everyone was safe...so i went into this aggressive ladies room...i asked her calmly if she really needed anything ...she looked at me and said no....and then i looked at her and said fine...then you need to be quiet and i walked out of the room and closed her door because she was screaming...she can walk...she can do all of that...but the problem is...i told the day cna what happen...i said i was stressed out and all of that ...and i told her ...she looked at me and said you shouldnt say things like that because people will report you and you could go to jail for abuse and neglect....

i didnt mean to hurt anyone...i promise...i was stressed out....that gives me no right.....i have done totally wrong....and all evening i have been crying because this just makes me realize how terrible of a person i am....no matter who it is these people depend on me....i might go to jail...i will get my license revoked...the one thing that i loved...in helping others will make everyone hate me and despise me and i will go to jail and i live the rest of my life beating myself up over it like i did today ....it got to the point where i thought to myself...i dont deserve to live....i dont deserve to be around such good people .....im a horrible cna who shouldnt be around anyone ....i need my license taken away and i should try to become a nun...if im good enough...which im not...but i could help out and clean and stuff....im so terrible its making me cry right now