i did wrong

i have this patient in my area that screams and hollers 24/7...she doesnt need anything...we offer...we do what we can...they give her the meds when needed...everyone is going beserk...literally....even the nurses are starting to go crazy....all the other patients are complaining and two other fairly confused patients have now been set off by this very aware patient...she is aggressive and verbally abusive....the alzihemiers unit does not want to take care of her ....and she is recovering so she cannot go to the long term....but i did a major boo boo....one patient ..one of the confused ones was screaming in the other room...and her roommate was about to fall...the patient who is screaming and aware kept trying to keep me in her room...but there were only two of us trying to keep 24 people people happy....along with providing needs and making sure everyone was safe...so i went into this aggressive ladies room...i asked her calmly if she really needed anything ...she looked at me and said no....and then i looked at her and said fine...then you need to be quiet and i walked out of the room and closed her door because she was screaming...she can walk...she can do all of that...but the problem is...i told the day cna what happen...i said i was stressed out and all of that ...and i told her ...she looked at me and said you shouldnt say things like that because people will report you and you could go to jail for abuse and neglect....

i didnt mean to hurt anyone...i promise...i was stressed out....that gives me no right.....i have done totally wrong....and all evening i have been crying because this just makes me realize how terrible of a person i am....no matter who it is these people depend on me....i might go to jail...i will get my license revoked...the one thing that i loved...in helping others will make everyone hate me and despise me and i will go to jail and i live the rest of my life beating myself up over it like i did today ....it got to the point where i thought to myself...i dont deserve to live....i dont deserve to be around such good people .....im a horrible cna who shouldnt be around anyone ....i need my license taken away and i should try to become a nun...if im good enough...which im not...but i could help out and clean and stuff....im so terrible its making me cry right now

((((InACorner))))

That doesnt make you a horrible person, I would have done the same thing... except a lot sooner lol

((((((((((( inny )))))))))))

If all you did was tell her to be quiet without yelling or screaming at her, then I don't consider that to be abusive.

Maybe in the future what you can do when you feel yourself getting frazzled is to go to your nurse on duty and tell her you feel really frazzled. Ask her if you can take a bit of a break to reclaim your demeanor.

Is this woman possibly scared? Lonely? Could that be why she is acting out? Maybe if she had a companion, it might calm her a bit? Just a thought.

You are one of the most compassionate people I know inny. Please don't be so hard on yourself. We are all human and can only take so much stress before we act in ways that are not normal for us to act.

I've been a CNA before and it is an extremely difficult job. Yes, it's very rewarding too no doubt. I see nothing wrong in being forthright with a patient who can understand and telling her she needs to stop a behavior that is bothering others. Maybe they can get a behaviorist to see her and give you all ideas on how best to deal with her.

((((((((((((((( inny )))))))))))))))) you are NOT a bad person hon......not not not!!

xoxoxox
sabby

inny that dont sound like abuse....

what u described u to be is so not the inny i know and love

(((((((((((inny)))))))))))))))

((((((((((((( inny ))))))))))))))

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InACorner said:
...but i did a major boo boo...so i went into this aggressive ladies room...i asked her calmly if she really needed anything ...she looked at me and said no....and then i looked at her and said fine...then you need to be quiet......i told the day cna what happen...i said i was stressed out and all of that ...and i told her ...she looked at me and said you shouldnt say things like that because people will report you and you could go to jail for abuse and neglect....

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From what you write, I don't quite get it. You shouldn't say things like what? It sounds like the cna (whatever that is) was stessed herself!

Actually, I think it would be a lot better to say to the woman "please be quiet" rather than "you need to be quiet" -- I have been told things like that before and it made me very angry. It puts the burden on the patient -- as though there were some objective need and she is in the "wrong". But if you made a mistake of any size that is a mistake and you can do better the next time.

thanks...

yea this person is very lonely and wants someone in her room all the time....we have tried to put one of us in there at times and she still screams even when your in there...plus there are only three cnas to 24 people ...which gives us about 8 each...and if one is in there at all times....its so hard to keep an eye on the other four confused and screaming people....and then also help the sane people with everything else...try getting dinner out .....not easy....im thinking maybe i will pull the day cna aside and tell her i removed myself from the situation and i was wrong...and it wont happen again...i will make sure of it.....i also let the nurse know what happened and told her that i am removing myself from the situation and if they take my license away at least i can tell the others...with the nurses observation of my trying to make things better....i really dont want to lose my certification.....im trying to be a good person....and i hope they see that...i just hope she lets it go and it just dies down

could you take her a stuffed animal and tell her she can hold that sometimes when she wants to feel like someone is there?

I still don't see what you did wrong, InACorner. Telling someone they're disturbing others and would they please be quiet isn't wrong, nor is closing the door, since she was still loud/disturbing others. You weren't "mean" or hurtful, just truthful and trying to be helpful. You went to her and asked her if you could help in any way! Her behavior is out of line, just because she is sick, she cannot be allowed to hurt others which her noise clearly does. I think you were very caring and professional.

Inna,

What you did wasn't wrong & you know it......what the other person said was that someone (if they wanted to make trouble) could turn what you did into "calling" is abuse, but actually being abuse....it wasn't!!!!

I was accused of abusing my Mother when she was in her home dying of cancer. It was the home care lady (supposed to be a RN) that had the police called annonomously about elderly abuse of my Mother. The police came to the house (very rude mind you)....without even telling me why they were there. It wasn't until almost 2 hours of them being in the house before they told me that someone had said that my Mother was closed in her room & kept from seeing people or talking on the phone. It was all a part of the ID theft plot she was doing to get me out of the house & alone with my Mother.

What I learned from this is that anyone can lie about abuse & can take anything or nothing & turn it into a case if they want to. I think your supervisor (or whatever she was) was just letting you know that stupid little things can be turned against you when they really weren't anything of the kind.

What this world is coming to is pathetic....it's just like parents who are disciplining their children in public & get charged with abuse. It has really gone too far & is completely rediculous.

In reality, you did NOTHING wrong.....so don't beat yourself up about it,
Debbie

thank you so much everyone

i went to work today and the CNA had the day off but i used the phone in a private room and called her..i explained how i was feeling and what really happened that day and what i was doing to fix it and she said it wasnt a problem to begin with (i overreacted wow....what a surprise) and that she wasnt going to say anything and that she knew i was a good person and i didnt want to hurt anyone (i have worked tons of times with her before so i know i can trust her word) and so it seems i will be ok (hopefully) i have been trying so hard to make up for everything...i have been really good at keeping my anger it seems i just had to kinda blow up alittle and now i can overcome my anger pretty well...

but i will admit ...these people have me totally exhausted

((((((((((((( inny )))))))))))))))

Hello (((INA))). I dont think that you literally did anything wrong. Even when I worked at a Facility for mental retardation it was considered a violation to let someone manipulate the helpers(which is what this person is doing consistently). all you have to ask is what do you need and when the patient says nothing then leave. You are not hired as a one on one nurse with this person and you have others to attend to. I feel that a Psych evaluation is in order for this person if screaming is just to get attention, then you therapist and Psych Dr can give you a daily maintenance plan for her behaviors. I feel in not having a case plan that is neglect on the part of the home, but you are definitely in charge of the assessments and getting the Psych Evaluation, so I dont feel that as long as the person is okay when you leave the room you are neglectful. If the home did their job to protect patients by getting a daily maintenance order you aides would not have to go through all of this, and the patients behavior may improve greatly. Take care Ina we all ave bad days. I hope you feel better soon. Soidhonia