I am trying to prepare myself for the possibility that he may not want to continue on and put in effort for us. Its really f****** hard. I am also trying to remain hopeful. Im in this limbo right now and am feeling unsure and afraid. Im also sad and angry.

I have a hidden feeling behind those other ones and its the feeling of being okay. Its trying to come out but the other feelings wont let it.

I have always survived break ups. I just never ever though I would experience it with him and I dont want to go through it.

I am having a strong urge to text him. To tell him about something funny that happened before, to send a kissy face, etc. Sometimes the break up doesnt feel real. And this is only day 1. I wont see him for another 3 days until Monday night probably. I already know what Im going to say and how Im going to say it.

It is a good idea (thank you) to set boundaries so that my triggers are not...triggered. And the same for him

I do agree thoroughly that it was not wrong of me to reach out to the woman hes friends with and thank you to all who agree with me. Its killing me to think about and I dont want to talk that part anymore =(

I realize this update might sound childish but Im currently working on validation, so have chosen my words carefully for it.