Quote:
Originally Posted by justafriend306
I agree with others the concerning interpretation of your posts as the wish to use people for your gratification. Perhaps you chose your words without thought but it is difficult for me to ignore.
It seems to me that you may be expecting the people around you owe you something like attention. My question then is what things are you willing to give them in return? I think it's time to evaluate how you define social interraction and friendship. What do you really want out of this? What do you then consider is your own part in them?
Being social and friendly actually comes with responsibility. I think you may have come across as having no wish to invest such work into people to do so.
I am trying to be constructive in my critical tone here. Sometimes that too is a part of true friendship.
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I don't know why this is so difficult for you to understand. Perhaps you have always been around people who value you so you don't know any different?
We are defined by our social interactions. Whatever roles you play in the groups you hang out with, that is essentially who you are as a person. If you see yourself as something different from that, then you are being delusional. So if I surround myself with people who see me as a clumsy, awkward, dumb guy, then I take on that persona. That is not the persona I want to have.
What do I give them in return for attention? Ummm, I give them my attention? Why should I give them anything else? Is my attention not worth as much as theirs? These are just coworkers who hang out together for fun, we are not close friends. Nobody really invests much work into this, they just be themselves and that is enough. Why does that not seem to be enough for me?
But no, I do not come across as using them or not caring about them. They actually joke about how they are not nice people and how I am the only nice person in the group.