I identify as genderfluid. It took me a long time to decide if that was the right term and honestly, for a lot of my life I didn't know that there was a word for how I feel. I've actually been using an app (Daylio - free from google play store, hopefully it's ok to specify a product) to track my changing perceptions of my gender and it's been helpful if only to understand myself better. My therapist wanted me to track my moods and the app also asks for one thing you did that day, but it's customizable so it works out easily.

I feel very much like you do from your description. For several days in a row I will feel that I have no gender or am neutral. It seems to coincide with days when I am more depressed although I don't know if it's a symptom or a cause. During that time I hate all expression of gender in myself and loathe my body.

Then for a few days I will feel masculine and wonder what was wrong with me that I felt no gender before. I am unhappy with my body and desperately want it to have male parts and not female ones. I annoy myself because my gestures are socialized to be more female than male. At these times I wonder if I am trans and contemplate making physical changes such as hormones and surgery. I am most happy/least depressed at these times.

Then some days (fewer) I feel female and suddenly find myself liking feminine clothes (feminine-ish, I never go full on girly) and watching nail art tutorials and things like that. I can in no way understand how I could have felt masculine or neutral in previous days. I want my body and gestures to be more feminine. I have more anxiety in these times but little less depression.

I think that I feel androgynous too at rare times although it's very close to neutral in some ways. Maybe it's a happier version of the same thing. I am more at peace with my body at these times. It's not what I want but I can live with it. Neither masculine or feminine clothes bother me. I am myself and I don't care so much about labels.

If I have to wear the wrong clothes or makeup (which is a maybe a cowardly thing to do but conflict is VERY difficult for me so sometimes I take the easy way out), I feel like I'm wearing a Halloween costume and it makes me both sad and irritable. I feel like I'm lying to the people around me and kind of betraying who I am. Sometimes I can just ignore my hormonal cycles and sometimes the conflict makes me absolutely miserable.

I get a lot of negativity from several close family members and pressure, including buying me clothes that I hate, to be more feminine. They think I have lousy self esteem. I do, but that's both a symptom of gender conflict and a few childhood issues.