Quote:
Originally Posted by shattered sanity
does anyone on here have a wake up call
that moment when they knew.. right, i'm depressed, something needs to be done about this now!
mine was actually sitting down with myself and trying to think about what I wanted for the new year, and I realised that actually, the thing I wanted more than anything was death
I didn't just want it, it needed to happen- that's when I knew I was totally depressed.. when answers to all my own questions- what do you want, where do you see yourself, ended up dead or death
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I can't say that i had 1 wake up call, i tried to do myself in several times. I have had a very hard life, and my real depression started when i was a preteen, while i was in a shelter home. I thought at that time i could take the pain away by trying to take my life, but it didn't work . I have endured so many years of depression, but there were 3 times that were very serious that i would have to say that the combination of them had me seeking help, but it took so very long. I am working on it now, and have been for the last maybe 7 years. I still struggle, but i am at least trying. The 3 serious times i bring up, 2 of them i woke up in icu, and the other one i had at least 3 diffrent things i had planned to do to end it all, including a gun. Thankfully a friend stopped me durring that time, and i was hospitalized for about 6 weeks, and daily after care for several months, but even after all of that i still didn't get it.the other 2 times were after that. I thought i had lost everything, and didn't have anything to be around for. I realize that i can only take things one day at a time, and work through that day. It can be very hard sometimes, but so far i am still working.
