so what was your, "wake up call"

does anyone on here have a wake up call

that moment when they knew.. right, i'm depressed, something needs to be done about this now!

mine was actually sitting down with myself and trying to think about what I wanted for the new year, and I realised that actually, the thing I wanted more than anything was death

I didn't just want it, it needed to happen- that's when I knew I was totally depressed.. when answers to all my own questions- what do you want, where do you see yourself, ended up dead or death

also when I realised that music just didn't do it for me like it used to do.

and everyone likes their music

When I sat in a support group while IP that my counselor made me go into (at the time, I thought she was just being over dramatic) and during the support group I finally decided to speak about what I was feeling. Everyone in the room looked at me like I just had an eyeball burst or something. All of these people began to tell me how sorry they were about what I was feeling. Then what was supposed to be a seventy-two hour hold became a two and a half week stay. By the end of that stay, I realized I had some serious problems that needed to be addressed. Before that, I really thought it was normal for people to get suicidal every now and then.

You should be proud of yourself for realizing it on your own. That's actually really impressive from my standpoint. I couldn't have done that. You're also strong for willingly getting help after that.

I can't say that i had 1 wake up call, i tried to do myself in several times. I have had a very hard life, and my real depression started when i was a preteen, while i was in a shelter home. I thought at that time i could take the pain away by trying to take my life, but it didn't work . I have endured so many years of depression, but there were 3 times that were very serious that i would have to say that the combination of them had me seeking help, but it took so very long. I am working on it now, and have been for the last maybe 7 years. I still struggle, but i am at least trying. The 3 serious times i bring up, 2 of them i woke up in icu, and the other one i had at least 3 diffrent things i had planned to do to end it all, including a gun. Thankfully a friend stopped me durring that time, and i was hospitalized for about 6 weeks, and daily after care for several months, but even after all of that i still didn't get it.the other 2 times were after that. I thought i had lost everything, and didn't have anything to be around for. I realize that i can only take things one day at a time, and work through that day. It can be very hard sometimes, but so far i am still working.

"Waking up" is the first step for healing..

Yes they are, and i am working on my issues,after my wake up calls. I just can't believe it took as long as it did. I so hope other ppl's wake up doesn't take as long.

Not yet...

My realization came once I was still utterly miserable despite getting two promotions in three months and having a newborn healthy baby. I had to luxury to have many things be going very well, and to realize that my sorrow was not resultant from my circumstances.

That tends to be a problem for many in society, countless people in poverty likely suffer greatly from depression and other mental health issues, but because it corresponds to their "hopeless" situation, it seems like a fitting emotional response.

For me I had very scary experiences of seeing myself as some helpless scared organism that would just vanish away, I became very frightened by my physicality. Lungs gasping for air, heart pounding, and the unconscious mind churning and reacting in ways I felt powerless to stop. It just stripped me of purpose and left me feeling naked and doomed. Then came the panic attacks, and Catatonic episodes.

That identity crisis I had when I was 15...yep, that was pretty painful. That was also about that time when I started being cynical and lost faith in humanity. The cynicism and lack of faith in humanity doesn't hurt though. In fact, now I find gallows humor pretty funny.

(I deleted my original post)

You're brave for both seeking help (I did this) and sticking with all the put downs, insults and let downs woven into the Mental "Health" System over here

When I was so paralyzed with anxiety and panic that I threw up in the shower one morning. (Don't get me wrong - I was severely depressed and I knew it, but the physical symptoms hadn't interfered with my daily functioning all that much until that moment.)

I went to the cinema to see Pete's Dragon. I sat through most of the film, not really feeling anything, and 3/4 of the way through just started to cry...I have no idea why. I couldn't stop.