The subject of this post is exactly how I feel and what I feel I need to do. I have been very much rather shut down, my entire system just gone for months. Well since I was assaulted in May everything at first was completely shut down, every single thing in my life. But now I am at the point that I am at least a little more back on my feet. Though I do need support and reassurance that I will be ok.

I have been having a hard time lately with some parts again. Well they just have been around more in the last few weeks or so. Especially the last few days. I have been switching more again, but not to the extreme as it was before.

Do any of you know is it possible that a new part may have been created from the assault that took place in may?
There seems to be a new part and my T and I are thinking that she came about during what happened in May, which I don't exactly remember it happening, so it does make sense somewhat.

Well the other issue I am having, which relates to that is she has been coming out the last few days. Now I am going to have to break up with my boyfriend, I mean there were issues before but this thing with her has made it so there is no possibility for me to even be in a relationship at this point in time. See she thinks it's supposed to hurt, that's the problem, and that combined with my inability to keep boundaries at this point in time, makes it a bad combination. Well see I have this belief that I deserve to be hurt and that I can't say no. I am going to be working on these things in therapy but just wanted to share.

Thank you to all who read this and hugs to all who want one and/or need one.

Jennifer