Quote:
Originally Posted by MariaLucy
First of all I would like to call all members attention to this:
http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...ment-here.html
In it, it asks all members not to question a persons experience and that we are here to support each other and not insist on our view of being right.
I am not insisting I am right. I am aware that I have been emotionally, psychologically, physically and sexually abused in therapy. I am not here for you to question my experience. Please read the article above posted by DocJon. It states this need for lack of judgement quite clearly.
If a therapist abuses his position of power by fostering a deep intimate relationship of daughter and father with his client, the client is not to blame. The therapist needs to be taken to account for it.
My confusion is that I loved it. I had never had a dad. I was wide open to being loved in this way. blame me for that if you wish, but don't post your judgements on here.
I adored the cards posted to my home saying that he loved me and would always hold me in his heart. I adored the presents and gifts and treats and outings. I was wide open to being won over. I was won over. Then he dumped me. And he continued working five days a week and actually, we have discovered, continued working with other clients. so he dumped me after promising me so much. Is it my fault he promised me so much? I think not.
I have been let down by four therapists now because I think what happens is that I am obviously a young child in distress inside an adult womans body. they get confused by this. The young child part of me must be very distressing for a therapist to witness as she is in trauma. I too find that part of me overwhelmingly upsetting. So the therapist this time and the woman therapist both went into 'rescue' mode and over reached themselves. Then bailed out because they had over reached themselves.
The first therapist actually lusted after me and planned for six months to have an affair with me. I was in child mode. I didn't see this coming. I never see sexual intent. I am 'too young' to see it, it is my blind spot, from being abused from an early age. This therapist then enacted the most awful sexual assaults for his own pleasure and needs and later admitted it in front of six witnesses. I was most horrified by how he admitted he had a sex addiction and that he had planned to manoever and manipulate me into a position of pliability to do what he wanted to do. And you blame ME for this?
And yes, you can say 'I really feel for the poor therapist' but he is being paid to be trained and professional with child abuse survivors. He is not paid to bail out because he got it wrong and promised too much and then got overly close and then ran leaving no care in place for me.
If you wish to argue with this post, please read the article I have included the link to. If you have a huge urge to jump in and judge me and question my experience, first of all stop and think why and then secondly, stop and remember that is not what this forum is for. We are not here to challenge each others' abuse and experience and say it didn't happen or that we are making it up or that we have got it wrong. |
Well said. As one of my supervisors once said, it's a client's job to try to break the boundaries and it's a therapist's job not to let it happened. If he does let it happen, he is to blame, not the client. It doesn't matter how much the client tries to seduce the therapist and how many personal issues she is struggling with. This has nothing to do with the fact that the therapist's professional responsibilities are always his professional responsibilities, nothing takes it away from him. If the boundary violation was due to ignorance or inexperience or "honest mistake" or the heart, tough luck, but this also has nothing to do with the fact that the boundary was violated and the therapist is the only one to be held accountable for this.
When I filed my complaint with the board, no one questioned my motives. The investigator never ONCE attempted to analyze me and my issues because for the licensing board they were irrelevant as they had nothing to do with my ex-therapist's professional duties. All he was doing was to collect all the facts so the board could later determine if there was a violation. My motivation and my credibility was NEVER questioned, because, again, it was irrelevant.
Trying to deflect from the therapist's actions to the client's motives is like deflecting from the rape to the fact that the victim was wearing a short skirt and was at the night club when it happen and blaming the rape on the victims choice of outfit and her lifestyle. Sometimes, it's hard to believe that we are in the 21st century because the human mindset doesn't seem to have changed since the Medieval times.