I need him to tell me "It's okay if you're upset with me. It's okay if you had a bad day. It's okay if you speak your mind and it's not what I think. I'm not going to leave you or disown you. I'll still love you." If he would tell me that and follow through with that, it would be such a relief, but as it is now, simply telling him I'm upset or simply showing it would send him through the roof and he would immediately turn something around on me like "Oh great, I'm the cause of all your grief aren't I? Well you're just like everyone else who is out to get me. Fine, be mad at me, see if I care! I don't need you or anyone else. You mine as well go hang out with my daughter then because she seems to feel the same way about me". It would somehow turn into being all about what a bad person I must make him out to be rather than me just simply telling him I want to be upset without feeling like I'm a bad person.

I need him to listen to me when I tell him I'm upset about something he's doing or not doing and understand my point of view and let me talk. Not immediately turn it around and have him find something about me that upsets him and interrupt me and tell me all the things I've done in the past month that upset him. Nothing gets accomplished that way, it just takes the spotlight off of him and then I think "Wow, I must have acted horribly this past month. I'm so sorry".