You do realize you're in a abusive relationship, right?

He is verbally and emotional abusing you and stomping down any sign of you wanting to be able to talk about things.

Verbal and emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical , which in this case could happen.

Until these last few posts from you I thought you just had petty stuff and nonsense arguing going.

The fact that you are so ******scared ***of his reactions is due to being abused by him.

Is the reason you can't leave due to his reaction and your fear of upsetting him if you tried?

There is help you can stop the abuse. YOU take that hard first step by reaching out for help, you are strong enough for this.