((((((((Mr. Stranger))))))) You are not alone in your frustrations with grad school and finding people unhelpful there and stress of dissertation. My brother went through the same thing. I can't even imagine writing and giving a dissertation so I commend you!!

I don't believe depression is a matter of not being strong or resilient enough. It's many things, but not that.

If you are in a very bad place, I recommend what Skeezyks said in his post to you.