No advice from me this time,or anymore,since it seems to be pointless and a waste of time,especially since you have already made it clear you don't want advice.You have also made it clear you are not willing to do anything,to do anything for yourself,to make any changes.

I do have some comments though...

I think you thrive on all the chaos and drama,I think you enjoy all this detective work you are doing,spying and snooping,trying to find all the dirt and gossip on him.I think it keeps you going,I think you may even get off on it.I think you really enjoy coming here and sharing the latest dirt on him and trash talking him.

Why?

Because by focusing on him,what he does,all his faults,you never really have to take a look at yourself,your own faults,your unhappiness with yourself,your unhappiness with your life and your marriage.You use him as a distraction because you don't dare face yourself or your life.

You won't stop doing what you are doing because it keeps you from facing the truth and facing reality.You are too afraid to make much needed changes,to take responsibility for yourself so you turn it all on him,blame him for everything that goes wrong and for everything that is wrong.

You are too afraid to put down your microscope and pick up a mirror,you are too afraid of what you will see.