Hello Mr. Stranger: Personally, I think we're all... well... at least most of us... are left with questions about things that occurred during our upbringing. I know I certainly have a list... quite a long list. My parents are long since gone now though & I was an only child. So I'll never get any answers.

I left my parents behind many years ago. I didn't plan it that way. But I didn't do anything to try to change the situation either. In many ways I wasn't unhappy things worked out that way. I feel a certain amount of guilt over it. And even more over other stuff that occurred. The feelings associated with all of that guilt wash over me daily... sometimes hourly. I simply strive to accept things as they are.

The Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön has written: "criticism without compassion can be just mean." So perhaps what is important is to strive to acknowledge that some of what your parents (& my parents) did was wrong, perhaps hurtful... but to look upon it with compassion understanding that they, like we, are human & we all make mistakes... even in the midst of doing what we think is the right thing at the time.