Stick with it ChildOfChaos. I know where you are, my SI stopped entirely when I used,but when I don't that itch seems to want to be scratched more and more.
Don't know how creative you are but often drawing or writing what I felt helps. Doesn't need to be realistic , even if it's abstract and in a language only you understand, its a place to express those sensations.

Whatever your method, fingers crossed, you can do it, you have proved you can stop. Just need to hang on in there.
Take care and be kind to yourself.