At this stage, the father's heard enough from art, it should be the son who has the next conversation with him.

SD's right, the son talked to his father about sex with his girlfriend at least. It doesn't sound to me like this has been their relationship all along. And with luck it is just a father-son rough patch: the father is upset about the car accidents and corresponding inconvenience, is worried the son doesn't have the survival skills for life (the budget and cleanliness stuff), maybe is jealous of the kid's youth, expects him to contribute more around the house since he's over 18, father's from a different generation, etc. I don't think the husband is an ogre.