Question- have you guys seen each other in person and do you get to hang out with her from time to time or are you two still in a long distance relationship? I only ask so I can understand to what level you two are close with each other.

Okay I'm going to break it down for you and I hope this helps give you a good idea as to what you should do

First of all you should give yourself a pat on the back that you've stuck around for so long. You don't have to; you're not obligated to her.

Her lashing out at you is her way of saying she loves you. I know it's stupid but it's the whole idea that we get mad at the ones we love. For example if something goes wrong at work, my dad for no reason will try to pick a fight with my sister and she knows that he's not mad at her but he's just frustrated about something. From what you said, she comes from a very abusive family and if she's self harming or was means that she has a lot of pent up anger and since she can't take it out on her parents you're the next best thing. When she complains about a friend then just listen and don't offer any advice unless she asks you or ask too much questions because all she wants is someone to vent to and nothing else. Trust me us girls LOVE to vent and since she can't do that with her mom then she does it with you because she knows you'll listen.

Don't pay too much attention to what she does because right now she's all over the place. The stress of dealing with her parents and school and then being in a LDR can take a toll on people and she's only what 16 17? Anytime she gets upset then just listen to her and distract her; dont let her dwell on it too much because then you're going to start having pent up anger and you're going to slowly start resenting her. Every couple fights; what matters is how far and long you stretch it.

Make a plan with her about moving in together. From the looks of it neither of your parents are going to care if you fall off the face of the earth (sorry I wish you guys had better parents) she's legal to work so don't take all the responsibility on yourself. Does she have a job? If she doesn't, then talk to her and tell her that you're thinking that if you both work and save up money you'll be able to move in together by end of next year. Set a deadline and make a step by step plan as to how are you guys going to save up your money for the apartment and also how are you going to afford the expense that comes with living on your own. Under no circumstances should not going to college be an option for either of you. You're both young, get your degree especially you. Find a way where you both can go to college and still be able to support each other financially.

As far as her need to constantly be in contact with you is her way off fighting loneliness. She's only being clingy and needy because she's never had someone care about her the way you so in a way she's scared that if she doesn't hold onto it with dear life she'll lose it. So just text hear throughout the day and when you can't then just let her know that you'll text her in an hr or when you can. If she hates you going to sleep early then let her know before you go to sleep that you're tired and you're thinking about going to sleep and that you'll text her first thing in the morning.

Lastly, if something she does or says bothers you don't tell her right then and there. Tell her when she's in a good mood or if she tells you herself that she feels bad about what she did then don't right away say "it's okay" but admit that it did bother you but you understand that she did it because she was upset and that if next time you two can talk about it rather than getting mad at each other because you don't like fighting with her. This way she'll realize that what she's doing is hurting you but also that she needs to be responsible for her actions.

Hope this helps