Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyllya
I think I have this same problem. It's just sort of this weird urge to not do things, right? Low energy, bad mood, or the task being legitimately unpleasant or difficult will make the problem worse, but even without those issues, trying to make yourself do stuff feels horrible. Even when you can do it, it seems to take way more willpower than it should.
Seems to be an issue with executive functioning. (It's a common problem among people with ADHD or traumatic brain injury, and I think ASD also. TBI resources call it initiation impairment; ADHD and ASD resources rarely acknowledge that it exists.)
Unfortunately, ADHD meds are the only really good help I've found, and even that is inadequate.
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Basically exactly! I have noticed that here ADD (which i have), they do admit executive functioning is a big thing, but more on higher levels and less on the treating patients levels but with aspergers (which I also have), they basically don't mention it. Their help was they gave us lists to fill out what to do in a day and when. I even found it hard to fill out the forms!
I feel it got worse with age too and worse after going through major depression many years ago even if that is much better it is like that made my mind weaker. When I was a kid I could find pleasure in packing a bag and look forward to going somewhere, like a sleepover or vacation. Now even packing fills me with dread almost. I feel it is so COMPLICATED. Even if I go somewhere fun I dread it too, up to the point when I am on my way and whatever transport is taking me there is off, it's not my responsibility anymore and I can start enjoying myself. That way I NEVER look forward to ANYTHING. I can enjoy myself, but the obstacles have to be gone first. After that I can piggyback on the "musts", like I must go here or there to catch the subway train or I "must" hang out with my host. So that gets easier. Like everything I do on my total own has no own energy.
I make chores worse because like the last time they were horrid and complicated. It is that expectation and this odd feeling that I "need" not to do things. Seems like you totally understand the feeling.
When I take Ritalin, things get easier, two things basically, one being I can start easier. It is not like totally easy, but sure helps! Also for some reason the med lumps what I do into one item. I'm not sure I can explain it but it is like the task suddenly has fewer parts and is less complex which is nice.
A few reasons I still feel I should overcome this is that I have extended family that have almost my exact problems, they have some physical illness like I do plus they have ASD or something like that but they were too old to get diagnosed. Still they have such a hard will. I feel like they have had issues with "laziness" but they have willed themselves to always be active and productive.