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Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2
Before it was routine but now not much so. Always got the back seat or if at the table...furthest away from the moderator. I find it hard to reveal what's in my head....but maybe it's time for some honesty.......dunno.
I don't care for sympathy or pity....just understanding and acceptance. Maybe I can be a voice from the mentally impaired? I've never been a voice for anybody including ourselves.
Such a catch 22...to become more less shy it takes alcohol. So to go to meetings and be bold I need to drink? Wha? Lol
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I don't care for sympathy or pity either,as a matter of fact I despise it.I didn't tell that I have severe anxiety so people would feel sorry for me or anything,it was for my own benefit.Number one,it was true and I got real tired of having so much anxiety from worrying about having anxiety there,got tired of worrying how I would seem to other people.Saying it just got it out in the open and over with and made it one less thing to worry about.People were very understanding and accepting of it and didn't look at me like I had 2 heads just because my entire body would be shaking when I talked.I know they wouldn't have reacted that way if I had announced that I was DID though,and no way would I have ever done that.
Every person at those meetings is there because they have some kind of issue,some kind of problems,whether they're court ordered to go or because they chose to go.They're all dysfunctional in one way or another and after I finally realized that I wasn't so hard on myself anymore.I also realized they were all so caught up in their own crap they weren't focusing on me and what I was or wasn't doing anyway.
I think drinking makes everyone more outgoing and makes it easier to be social,it's hard to learn how to do that without it.Wish I could say I have figured it all out but I'm still working on it.