Sure, I can relate, too.

It becomes exhausting and, sometimes, there's just nothing left with which to fight. I've been going through very severe depression for months now.

I've just started stimulant use again. I have been against using them in the past. I really think the amphetamine salts (Adderall) is helping some.
I was lower than low -- totally depleted. Adding in the Adderall has helped some with mood and some with energy. It doesn't give me massive energy, nor has it made me manic / hypomanic. (So far anyway.)

For depression, I have been taking: citalopram, Wellbutrin, Latuda AND Adderall. Four drugs all aimed at the depression.
The Adderall seems to help the most... and very quickly.

With the Adderall, I can at least push myself to do something (some of the time-- and am still pushing, but can do more than I was doing) so I have some distraction from the severe (and otherwise paralyzing and "I just wanna die") depression. The jury is still out; yet, it feels like Adderall is giving me some relief. Enough relief? Only time will tell.

I am sorry you are going through such a rough time. Depression is so painful and can feel so very hopeless. Severe depression is torture. Perceptions get so distorted. It can be scary at times.

You are in my thoughts.
May you feel Love surround you.


WC