Hello Pastel
Me too. When my birth mom passed away, I was a little girl and grew up with so many distorted ideas. Now I'm 53 and not much has changed. Except I have brought my children up with my broken mind and heart. Passing all I know to those I love.
What I can tell you is forgive if you can. Forgive your parents. They can only teach what they know. Forgive yourself. You cannot be perfect. You are perfectly imperfect. Be kind to yourself and visibly see yourself being kind to you. That where it can start to change. Find balance. We all have good and bad. Accept yourself and you will begin to accept others.
I'm here for you. Be in touch if you need
Xo