I think when we know what we think & exactly why it is much easier to defend ones self. Before I had the DBT group for 2 years 3+ hoyrs a week, I didnt have the words or even the understsnding of myself to be able to defend in a way that was solid which was why I always fought. I knew something was wrong I just didnt have the analytical knowledge to explain & express it in understandable words but then again I hadnt realized that I had grown up with parents & married a guy who were incapable of reasonable conversation either.....but now I have learned how to express myself in a straight forward way it really helps to not get into situations like that. Also seeing the BIG picture helps to, less chance they can throw something at you that you arent prepared for.