No need to apologize for expressing down feelings here. We all get it. We understand the self-criticism and self doubt that arise as a result of feeling in a low mood.
Like the others say, go easy on yourself. You're not going to solve everything at once. You may, however, have the ability to work on one thing and make it a "win." Keep piling up small wins, and your life will look different.
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Meds: Latuda, Lamictal XR, Vyvanse, Seroquel, Klonopin
Supplements: Monster Energy replacement.  Also DLPA, tyrosine, glutamine, and tryptophan
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