I'm a grown ars man and I'm just laying here crying. It's stupid and pathetic. There is no reason I should ever cry. Woke up today, about 3 hours ago, in a good mood. Probably somewhere around a 3 on the suicide scale. Now I'm at a 7 and it's all I can think about. Every time I think of 1 way I start thinking of a new way. Trying to figure out what would be best.