After my husband's meltdown, I still fully intend to separate from him in the new year. For now, I sleep in the spare bedroom. However, it feels like nothing else has changed, except a lack of affection and sex. We still do family things. We discuss the kids, and dinner as though nothing has happened. We finally had a "talk" last night, with me pointing out some pretty harsh things to him. His lack of respect for women, his lack of respect for me, his repeated behavior patterns that have occured since he was a teenager. He didn't say much, but stayed up for a couple hours after I went to bed, I guess he was thinking. Today, I asked him what had changed, he said I had made him realize some things about himself. Later in the afternoon, he was talking about our future (moving into a bigger house etc.), and I had to tell him I wasn't optimistic about that happening. He said he was, because he because he was confident in his ability to "get his %#@&#! together".
I have heard it all before. I have seen it all before. He crossed a line with his violence, and after six years together, I deserve his respect. I love him very much, and truly hope he learns to love himself. Am I wrong in wanting to split up the family in hopes that finally losing something motivates him? Am I wrong in wanting peace for myself and my kids? He thinks seperating will only drive us further apart. But I can't keep living like nothing has changed. When I stop and think about everything, I break down and cry.