I understand how you feel about crisis lines. I texted one (could have sworn it was also 741 741) and the person who I got was very rude and didn't even want to talk to me. They ended the text conversation immediately and I was left feeling worse than I was. Maybe I got a bad person. Who knows. But it really made me feel like a burden.

I think you're still here because you have something only you can do. I know that sounds corny or lame but I truly believe that. You're very strong and resilient. I'm so sorry your life has been obstacle after obstacle and I really would like to believe that things will turn around for you.